Thumbs

May. 9th, 2002 09:08 pm
clothofdreams: (Default)
This is for you, Melinda...


Have you ever wondered what life would be like without thumbs? I have. Think what a different place the world would be! Every person would be rendered completely helpless when confronted with many everyday tasks.

Allow me to introduce Bob, my imaginary thumb-less man. He will assist me in my quest to illustrate what trials a thumb-less person undergoes. When Bob wakes up in the morning, he can't pull back his covers, because he has nothing with which to grip them. In a violent effort, he kicks them off with his feet. He then rises from his bed and leaves it unmade--much to the chagrin of his wife. What can he do? He has no thumbs.

He walks over to his dresser, and opens a drawer with his index finger. After staring at his clothes in the drawer for a moment, he decides it would be too great a task to change his socks and underwear. He walks over to his closet (thankfully the door was left open by his wife), chooses a shirt, and slips his arms through the sleeves using the hanger to hold the shirt in place. He stares vacantly at the buttons, and leaves his shirt undone. What can he do? He has no thumbs.

Next come the trousers. Bob, an expert at Yoga and extremely flexible, steps into his pants, bends at the hips, grabs the waistband with his teeth, and pulls them up. The fly, sadly, remains undone. What can he do? He has no thumbs.

Out to the kitchen he goes for a little breakfast. A bowl of cereal is too difficult to eat. In goes the raisin-bread into the toaster. Unfortunately, the setting was left on extra-dark, and Bob cannot turn the knob to change it. Out comes his toast, black and burnt, and Bob has to eat it without butter or jam, because he cannot use a knife. What can he do? He has no thumbs.

After he has eaten his toasted toast with index fingers, pinkies, and a little imagination, Bob wipes the crumbs off his face, and proceeds to his front door to leave for work. He cannot brush his teeth, comb his hair, or shave. And, unfortunately for Bob, he cannot open the front door. What can he do? He has no thumbs.

In exasperation, he calls for his wife. She quickly appears, demure, sympathetic, and armed with a toothbrush, comb, and razor. “Come here, Bob,” she says kindly. In a matter of minutes, his shirt is buttoned, his trousers zipped, his tie on, his teeth brushed, his hair combed, and his face shaved. His wife kisses him, helps him out the door, and Bob is on his way. What can he do? He doesn't have to do a thing. He has a wife, and she has thumbs.

Thumbs

May. 9th, 2002 09:08 pm
clothofdreams: (Default)
This is for you, Melinda...


Have you ever wondered what life would be like without thumbs? I have. Think what a different place the world would be! Every person would be rendered completely helpless when confronted with many everyday tasks.

Allow me to introduce Bob, my imaginary thumb-less man. He will assist me in my quest to illustrate what trials a thumb-less person undergoes. When Bob wakes up in the morning, he can't pull back his covers, because he has nothing with which to grip them. In a violent effort, he kicks them off with his feet. He then rises from his bed and leaves it unmade--much to the chagrin of his wife. What can he do? He has no thumbs.

He walks over to his dresser, and opens a drawer with his index finger. After staring at his clothes in the drawer for a moment, he decides it would be too great a task to change his socks and underwear. He walks over to his closet (thankfully the door was left open by his wife), chooses a shirt, and slips his arms through the sleeves using the hanger to hold the shirt in place. He stares vacantly at the buttons, and leaves his shirt undone. What can he do? He has no thumbs.

Next come the trousers. Bob, an expert at Yoga and extremely flexible, steps into his pants, bends at the hips, grabs the waistband with his teeth, and pulls them up. The fly, sadly, remains undone. What can he do? He has no thumbs.

Out to the kitchen he goes for a little breakfast. A bowl of cereal is too difficult to eat. In goes the raisin-bread into the toaster. Unfortunately, the setting was left on extra-dark, and Bob cannot turn the knob to change it. Out comes his toast, black and burnt, and Bob has to eat it without butter or jam, because he cannot use a knife. What can he do? He has no thumbs.

After he has eaten his toasted toast with index fingers, pinkies, and a little imagination, Bob wipes the crumbs off his face, and proceeds to his front door to leave for work. He cannot brush his teeth, comb his hair, or shave. And, unfortunately for Bob, he cannot open the front door. What can he do? He has no thumbs.

In exasperation, he calls for his wife. She quickly appears, demure, sympathetic, and armed with a toothbrush, comb, and razor. “Come here, Bob,” she says kindly. In a matter of minutes, his shirt is buttoned, his trousers zipped, his tie on, his teeth brushed, his hair combed, and his face shaved. His wife kisses him, helps him out the door, and Bob is on his way. What can he do? He doesn't have to do a thing. He has a wife, and she has thumbs.

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